I am feeling frustrated and felt the urge to write it down, maybe if I’m lucky, to find others who identify with this frustration. Sometimes I feel like I am in a world where most people have their eyes firmly closed due to their white privilege (whether they want to believe it or not), and mine are glued open. I am ashamed to say that before Harper came into my life, I was one of those people with my eyes closed, at least half-way, but once he became a thought in my mind and most importantly a reality, my eyes were never going to be allowed to close again.
How can we as a people believe that the world should be colorblind, that race does not matter and that Reverse Racism is a real thing? These are direct insults to my family and especially to my son, who will grow up to be a black man who is not seen as the cute little boy any longer; that “innocence” will be gone forever. I am disturbed and outraged by comments I hear on a daily basis that are beyond my comprehension why someone would feel it is ok to say in general AND when they know my family. This happens at work (fairly often), with some “friends,” with some family members, and when I am out running errands(grocery shopping, standing in line at Target, etc) Even on my last vacation, one of the guests on the cruise ship from our vacation group came up to my mother and husband and said, “I am just going to be aggressive. We are all wondering…where did you get him?” Like my son is an item that I just picked up at my last shopping trip to Target, really people?! If you are intrigued by my family and want to know more, there are more appropriate ways to inquire.
I guess overall I am just feeling alone in the belief that my son is amazing, beautiful, worth everything and more. He is my heart and has taught me so much. I would not have had motherhood occur any other way for me, as Harper is truly a gift and an education/awakening that I wish we could all experience. I am so thankful every single day, even when he is being a crazy almost 3 year old, that he is in my life and I was chosen to be his mother.
Speaking of motherhood. I ran across an article today on my facebook feed entitled, “11Things Only Parents of Boys Will Understand,” and immediately opened the link. I thought this would be a fun read. The second of the 11 points the author makes is, “2. Simultaneously hating and being grateful for the privilege your son will have as an adult male.” I promptly closed this article and thought that this woman was obviously a white woman with white sons and did not have her eyes open to ALL sons and the difference in their privileges or lack their of. I moved on and saw another article, “Understand That These Are 11 Things About White Boys,” and felt much better knowing another mother of a black son was bothered by the first article AND made some amazing points about why this should be offensive.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news all of the time for those content with keeping their white privilege blinders on, but I am willing to be in this position to educate all who will even half-way listen. This is just that important. I am willing to have people unfriend me on facebook if my posts make them uncomfortable. I am willing to loose a “friend” who does not accept and has an issue with what I have to say on this topic. If this is the case then I most likely do not want you around my son anyway. I am not trying to be offensive in any way, shape, or form, but I need my co-workers, friends, and family to understand that this is not a phase. This is the truth of my being, of my existence, and of the existence of my family. I will ALWAYS speak this truth and fight for my son’s future.