How we got here

Our journey towards parenthood did not begin unlike the typical married couple who decided they would like to start a family.  We simply just started “trying.”

After one year of attempting to conceive on our own, Mandi was referred to a fertility specialist by her OB.  Tests were conducted and many vials of blood were drawn.  Afterward, we were placed in the “unexplained infertility” category.  We were told that the single factor which might be most inhibiting our chances of conception was that Mandi had an FSH level of 12.  This is on the high end for a woman of her age, but we were also told that it did not mean that we would not be able to become pregnant.  Next was the recommended rounds of treatment…3-4 menstrual cycles augmented with IUI’s and Clomid, a fertility hormone.  Several months and four failed IUI attempts later, we decided to get a second opinion. 

Our new fertility specialist did things a bit differently.  We were able to sit down, face to face, with the new doctor, talk expressly about our concerns, ask him questions, and listen to his responses. The warmth of this visit was a welcome change from the purely clinical air of our former specialist.  During this same visit, tests were performed and more vials of blood were drawn.

A week later, we received a call from the doctor himself.  He informed us that Mandi has a very, very diminished ovarian reserve (not a lot of eggs left, and possibly not quality eggs left).  He let us know that we would either have to jump into a heavily medicated IVF procedure, with only a slim chance of success, or move on to an egg donor and give IUI’s a chance again.  After hearing the sad truth of the matter, we had to process the inevitability of our situation: we were unlikely to conceive on our own.  Over this nearly two-year long experience, there have been many tears, lots of stress, and occasional flashes of hope.  However, nothing compared to the absolute feeling of loss and longing for our biological child that we are unlikely to ever know.

Sometime later, after some considerable soul-searching, clarity came to us.  We are meant to ADOPT!  We know that there is a child out there waiting for us; one who needs loving parents as much as we want to be loving parents.  We have never felt so confident about anything (except for how we feel about one another).
So, we are now in the process of adopting…  We are excited, nervous, anxious, and relieved to know our baby is on its way, and we wanted all of our family and friends to be aware of our journey.  We are fully confident of our decision to adopt and can not wait to introduce our baby to all of you in the near future!

Love Always,

Jason & Mandi Gray


23 thoughts on “How we got here

  1. I’m sure your journey was not easy but I think your decision is great. I wish nothing but happiness for you two and I think adopting is a beautiful choice.

  2. Thank you for sharing your journey. You both will be great parents. There is a very lucky little boy or girl out there waiting you! Lots of love, Melanie

  3. I cannot imagine what a stressful journey that must have been for both of you but you got through it together, which many couples aren’t strong enough to do. I’m so happy for you that you’ve decided to adopt! I think that’s a great thing and I know you’ll make a wonderful family! Congratulations to both of you for getting through such a difficult time!

  4. I am so excited for you two! I am crying tears of joy as I write this response. What you are doing is truly a miracle! With hearts so big and open you two are sure to be amazing parents! Good luck with the next steps on this path. I can not wait to meet your baby!!

  5. Congratulations you guys!! I’m sorry you have had to go through this but you are both meant to be examples for a little, that is for sure!!!! You will be fabulous parents!!!

  6. Thanks for sharing this with us, we are so excited for you! We have always said you will make amazing parents! You have been through so much & it must be wonderful to have come to this decision! Can’t wait to meet the new addition to your family!
    Julie & Steve

  7. Thanks for sharing this guys. As many have said already, you are on a great path with a great attitude to boot. As some great philosopher once crooned “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.” Great thing about adopting, it’s a two way street of both want and need. Best of luck and let me know if you need any advice from others that have walked your path, from foreign, to special needs, to formal and even informal arrangements.

  8. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson. I can only imagine how difficult this journey has been for you both, but you have set a new course and I know everything will work out in the end. This is very exciting! You are in my prayers! Love you! Kim

  9. My heart was breaking as I was reading your blog and following you through your journey. You have been through such heartache but I am so happy to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you and Jason. You are such a beautiful person inside and out and will make such a fabulous mother! I look forward to meeting your little miracle and I can’t wait to have a play date.

  10. I know there is a baby out there just waiting to have you both as his or her parents. Be patient, enjoy life, take one day at a time. You both are in my prayers. All my love Aunt Joyce

  11. Mandi and Jason:
    Congratulations on your decision to become parents! It is comforting to know that there will be another person in the world that was raised by exceptional people. You both will be wonderful parents! Love and Admiration, Julie & Gentry

  12. Congrats! I couldn’t be more happy for you, its well deserved. I believe this baby couldn’t have gotten a better pair, two talented and loving parents. I see Nothing but a bright future ahead for the family. praying for you and yours and can’t wait for pictures.

  13. Jason,

    Good luck with the adoption, I wish you many blessings and will be praying things move quickly for you. It is so good to hear about you and hope your family is doing well. I have thought of you often.


    Sonya Trull

  14. Thank you for sharing this journey with your friends and family. You guys will make awesome parents. Thoughts and prayers coming your way.

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